I never expected to go through menopause in my early thirties. In fact, I hadn’t even given menopause a thought. Like most women, I assumed it was something that happened much later in life—something I wouldn’t need to worry about for decades. At 31, my partner and I had already decided we wanted to start trying for a baby. We had been having those conversations, we felt ready. But before I even had the chance to try, everything changed.
Suddenly, I was experiencing symptoms I didn’t understand—fatigue, brain fog, anxiety, irregular cycles, and hot flushes. It didn’t cross my mind that this could be menopause. The process of getting a diagnosis was confusing and frustrating, and I quickly realised how little information and support existed for women going through early menopause or just menopause.
Now, 10 years on, I’ve learned so much about my body, my health, and how to manage menopause symptoms—both naturally and with HRT. I’ve tried so many approaches over the years, experimenting with different diets, supplements, and lifestyle changes, always searching for what worked best for me. Some things helped, others didn’t, and it’s taken time to find a routine that truly supports my body. While some things are still a struggle today, I can confidently say I feel the best I have in the last 10 years.
But my journey isn’t over. I’m still learning, still researching, and still working on optimising how I feel. Managing early menopause is not a one-size-fits-all process, and I know there are many other women out there trying to figure it all out, just like I was.
That’s why I want to share my experience—what helped, what didn’t, and how I’ve reached a place where I finally feel like myself again. If you’re going through menopause, early menopause, suspect something isn’t quite right, or are looking for ways to manage symptoms (with or without HRT), I hope this series will offer you reassurance, support, and practical advice.
Let’s start at the beginning—the first signs and how I finally got a diagnosis.
The Diagnosis Process – How I Found Out I Was Going Through Early Menopause
Unfortunately, my journey to diagnosis was incredibly upsetting. It was always going to be a difficult and emotional situation, but the way it unfolded made it very hard to process.
After experiencing worsening hot flushes, I finally decided to call the doctor and book an appointment. I initially saw a female junior doctor, who was reassuring and suggested we start with some blood tests. We spoke about menopause, but she reassured me that it was highly unlikely and that my symptoms could be down to other causes. That conversation gave me hope and settled my nerves—I was still convinced there would be another explanation.
A few days later, I received a call with my blood test results. I was told that my thyroid levels weren’t right (underactive thyroid), but they would need to be rechecked since thyroid levels can fluctuate. Then came the news that caught me off guard—my hormone levels were in the range of someone going through menopause. I was told not to worry and asked to come back in for further blood tests.
Those results told a similar story. My thyroid levels seemed to normalise, but my hormone levels remained low, indicating that something was seriously wrong. At my follow-up appointment, with the same junior doctor and also a senior doctor in the room, I was told that they still weren’t sure what was happening and that I would need a referral to the hospital for further investigation, still reassured that I shouldn’t worry as it likely wouldn’t be the menopause.
The Hospital Appointment – The News That Changed Everything
I went to the hospital with my husband, assuming this would just be a consultation—a chance to talk through my symptoms, run more tests, and get some answers about what was going on. I had no idea I was about to receive life-changing news.
During the appointment, I was given an ultrasound scan to check my ovaries and follicles. Whilst the doctor was performing the ultrasound they delivered the news that I had almost no follicles left, meaning that I would not be able to conceive naturally. She explained that my chances of success with IVF were extremely low and that, because of this, I would not be offered IVF on the NHS. My only option, I was told, would be egg donation, and I would be entitled to one or two opportunities on the NHS. There was no discussion about the menopause just my fertility.
I was in complete shock.
I wasn’t prepared for this news at all—I didn’t even know fertility was going to be discussed in this appointment. The doctors didn’t prepare me for what this referral actually meant, what it would entail, or that I would be given a diagnosis there and then. I walked into the appointment completely unprepared for the reality of what was about to happen.
My husband and I left the hospital and walked to the car, hardly speaking as we were both in shock. We decided to go for a drink because we couldn’t face going home straight away. I don’t know why, but it felt even more upsetting to have that first conversation in our home. We sat for an hour or so, trying to make sense of everything. I still remember vividly getting home, and my mum ringing as she had been waiting to hear what the hospital had said. Having to tell her was what made it sink in. I felt devastated. I couldn’t even stay on the phone because I was so upset.
I had walked out of that appointment with a leaflet on egg donation, but no real understanding of what had just happened or what it meant for me beyond fertility.
One of the most difficult parts of my diagnosis was being told that I wouldn’t be able to conceive naturally. At the time, my husband and I had been preparing to start trying for a baby, so this news was incredibly hard to process. Fertility is a significant concern for many women facing early menopause, and each journey is unique. While I won’t be discussing my personal decision in this series, for those navigating fertility challenges alongside menopause, there are options and support available. I will provide some UK-based resources at the end of this page that may be helpful.
Lack of Information and Struggles to Get the Right Support
I think I was finally told I was going through early menopause at a follow-up appointment with my doctor, I was officially diagnosed with early menopause, also known as premature ovarian insufficiency (POI). This meant that my ovaries had stopped functioning properly long before the typical age of menopause. It was a lot to take in, and I was given little guidance on what this really meant for my long-term health. I had another hospital referral, where they ran more blood tests to see if there was a cause for my early menopause—but they couldn’t find one.
The doctors briefly mentioned that early menopause increased my risk of conditions like heart disease, dementia, and osteoporosis. They also told me not to worry about the reported risks of HRT increasing the chances of breast cancer, as those risks mainly applied to women who stayed on it long past the typical menopause age. I later learned that this wasn’t entirely true, as the studies around HRT and cancer risk are more complex than that.
I was given information on some charities that might help, but beyond that, I wasn’t told in any detail what the impact of menopause at my age would be on my long-term health, what symptoms to expect, how to manage my symptoms, or what I should do next.
One thing I do remember clearly was being told I didn’t need to worry about HRT yet because I was still having periods—even though they were erratic, and I was already experiencing awful symptoms. The doctor told me to wait until my periods had stopped for at least six months before coming back to discuss HRT.
This was such bad advice, and it led me to struggle on with severe menopause symptoms for the next six years and battle with various doctors trying to get the right information or support.
I did, however, get CBT therapy and counselling offered to me, which I accepted. This helped me process what had happened and gave me some coping strategies for the anxiety and low mood that had intensified with menopause.
Next: How Early Menopause Affected My Body, Mind, and My Journey to Getting the Right Support
The physical and emotional impact of early menopause was overwhelming. My symptoms worsened, and I was left to figure out how to manage them on my own. In the next part of this series, I’ll share the biggest struggles I faced, how menopause affected my daily life, and the long road to finally getting the right support.
UK-Based Fertility Resources:
- Bupa UK – Early Menopause and Fertility: This resource provides key information about early menopause and its impact on fertility, including available treatment options.
bupa.co.uk - TFP Fertility – Early Menopause: Symptoms and Treatment: Offers specialist advice and fertility support for individuals experiencing early menopause, detailing symptoms, causes, and potential treatments.
tfp-fertility.com - The Daisy Network: A UK-based charity dedicated to providing information, advice, and support to women diagnosed with premature ovarian insufficiency (POI).
daisynetwork.org - My Menopause Centre – Fertility and the Menopause: Provides insights into fertility levels by age, advice for conceiving during perimenopause, and information on medical or surgical menopause.
mymenopausecentre.com - HCA Healthcare UK – Getting Pregnant with Premature Ovarian Insufficiency (POI): Discusses the possibilities and challenges of conceiving naturally with POI and the importance of consulting with a fertility specialist.
hcahealthcare.co.uk
These resources offer valuable information for those seeking to understand and navigate fertility options related to early menopause.
If this post resonated with you, feel free to like it or share it with someone who might be navigating a similar journey. You never know who might need to hear they’re not alone.
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